The decline fall of western civilisation (ITV’s Take me out season 2 years)

Take Me Out, ITV’s modern version of Blind Date, has recently returned to the prime time Saturday evening TV slot.  It still remains an intriguing and mysterious beast.  Do people like this really exist?  Is that really Paddy from Pheonix Nights?  And, what is  more demeaning, being a man or woman on the show?

The first season was obviously a bit of a success as now the lucky couple get to go to an island called Fernandos for their date rather then the infamous Fernandos of last season.  You can’t swim?  Well, you’ll be off to the water park for your date then.  Could have been a page 3 girl?  Horseback riding date for you then.  It’s quite sad that the seedy, back room in a TV studio, Fernandos, is no longer used.  I remember watching, many years ago now, the first series of Pop Idol when they just performed in a small room and then years later, having not watched it for a while, tuning in again to see them performing in some massive arena.  It just wasn’t the same and this seems similar.

However, fear not, Paddy’s still churning out his catchphrases – no likey, no lighty, and, bring out the girls, and they’ve not tampered with the studio humiliation format.  The men still come down Paddy’s tube to cackles and then perform their best ritual mating dance.  Hi, I’m Darren from Leicester and I can balance a car on my nose whilst balancing on one leg, or something like that.  The girls talk in only nonsensical innuendo.

Some of the highlights so far are a rapper who seems overly fond of the third person and teddy bears, and a boxer who, despite having muscles like He-Man, still couldn’t score a date.  The girls are the girls.  Dubious hair with a slightly blank expression in some of their eyes.  They’re slightly unhinged man eaters if we’re to believe their actions. So in the world of dating, all is well.  Paddy is still churning out his catchphrases – no likey, no lighty, and, bring out the girls.  Take me out is to Dating what The Apprentice is to Business.  Absolute cringe worthy comedy gold.  When humans play chess with monkeys whilst orbiting some far away space station, many years from now, when there’s little evidence left of Earth, they will watch this program as a document of our civilisation and they will ponder at it, not knowing it is.  Perhaps, they speculate, it was a form of earthling punishment for when a most hideous crime had been committed.  Or perhaps they’ll just laugh.

You can watch take me out online or on ITV on Saturday evenings.

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