Take Me Out – First series finale round up

So take me out, ITV’s demonic dating show hosted by Paddy McGuinness, had its season finale on the weekend.  It was a fitting end.  Daisy managed to score a date with a multi-millionaire.  Amazingly, 17 girls kept their lights on for this chap and all his schtick seemed to be was I’ve got loads of money but I don’t want a gold digger.

The show has many strengths and one of the great things about Take Me Out is that it managed to degrade men which is quite an achievement considering how good we are at doing this ourselves.  A brain surgeon could have gone on the show but for his special skill, the one you use to attract a mate,  the desire to do something ape like would just be too much. We just can’t help it.  It’s in our DNA, apparently.  The contestant with the greatest skill of the series had to be the table wrestler (a man who could climb around a table.)  The man’s subconscious just got the better and convinced him that a concealed show of strength would attract the ladies.  Any man who can table wrestle can also wrestle animal and bring food to the table.  But at least he made an effort.  Their were a few men who just took questions from Paddy.  Couldn’t even be bothered with a skill.  Shame on them.

As for the girls, they were predominately unhinged.  Either drooling and cackling or sneering and offensive or cute and bubbly.  Some were there for fame (ahem, the twins.)  Others it seemed were actresses, some were tall, some were short, but if you were normal you didn’t stand a chance.  Time and time again, a mummy’s boy would have a choice between a girl who appeared normal, or the girl who looked like she’d just stepped out of lap dancing club.  The boys knew it was wrong but would every time go with the stripper.  The stripped would then immediately say that he wasn’t her type but hell, you know, she just wanted to get off the show.

A few things that annoyed me were the way all the male contestants had two buttons undone.  Not fashionable in the slightest, ever.  Second was the way female contestants would disappear.  The exceptionally tall girl who never had a chance.  Also midway through the series there was a girl who seemed completely mental.  I tuned in next week hoping she would be paired with a narcissistic metrosexual only for her pod to be filled by another girl.  Last was the grandfathers who were almost booted on like lambs to the slaughter.  I doubt they had a clue what was going on.

There was also Paddy’s sarcastic banter and catchphrases on the show.  On the first episode he looked like a man on the edge.  He’d hit rock bottom.  But he soon perked up and regularly dished out abuse to the contestants.  A particular favourite moment was from the last episode where multi-millionaire, Ben, revealed his fortune on the big screen, Paddy asked if any of the girls who had turned their lights off would like them turned back on.  As a few of the girls sheepishly put their hand up, Paddy shouted, “Gold diggers.”  Here’s some of his catchphrases:

1.  No Lightey, No Likey.

2.  Fernando’s

3.  Single Man, reveal yourself (some take this a little too literally)

4  Let the Plug see the socket

Over the past 6 weeks take me out has provided viewers with an unabashed level of TV slumming pleasure.  When watching episode 1 my initial reaction was, it’s the end of civilisation as we know it.  Now all I can think about is what trick I would do if I ever got to grace the love lift.  Not that I’m brave enough or I have a skill to showcase.  I contemplated strolling out the love pod in nothing but a gladiator outfit but know my scrawny body with its pallid tone would be quite offensive.

here’s a link to ITV’s website – http://www.itv.com/entertainment/takemeout/

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